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The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time
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As we all prepare to spend a long weekend enjoying Presidential Savings on mattresses and used Toyotas, we could take time to thank some of the presidents who passed bills that protect some of the freedoms your enjoy daily. Or we could spend the day celebrating the presidents who are decidedly more Action Movie Heroes than diplomats. Anyway, guess which kind of president this website decided to focus on? #5.
Andrew Jackson
When the 1828 election rolled around, a lot of people were terrified when they heard Andrew "Old Hickory" Jackson was running. If you're wondering how a guy we're calling a bad ass got such a lame nickname, it's because he used to carry a hickory cane around and beat people senseless with it, and if you're wondering why he did that, it's because he was a fucking lunatic.
How do we know? Well, despite everyone's best efforts, Jackson was elected to the top office, and when he wasn't busy shaping the Presidency as we know it today, you could find him out back dueling. In case you haven't been to the 18th century lately, this unmanly sounding activity actually involves standing across from an armed man and shooting at him while he in turn shoots at you. The number of duels that Jackson took part in varies depending on what source you consult; some say 13, while others rank the number somewhere in the 100's, both of which are entirely too many times for a reasonable human being to stand in front of someone who is strying to kill them with a loaded gun. On one occasion, he challenged a man named Charles Dickinson to a duel, (the reason behind it wasn't important, not to us and certainly not to Jackson), and Jackson was even kind enough to give Dickinson the first shot. We're gonna go ahead and repeat that: In a duel with pistols, Jackson politely volunteers to be shot at first. Dickinson happily obliged and shot Jackson, who proceeded to shake it off like it was a bee sting. When Jackson returned the favor, Dickinson was not so lucky, and that's why his face isn't on the twenty. The bullet, by the by, remained in Jackson's body for 19 years because, we assume, Jackson knew that time spent removing the bullets would just fall under the general category of "time not dueling," Jackson's least favorite category.
Greatest Display of Badassedry:
The guns were inspected afterwards and it was discovered that they were in perfect working order, leading some historians to believe that it was an odds-defying "miracle" that Jackson survived, while we're pretty sure that the bullets, like everyone else, were simply scared of Jackson.
Most Badass Quote:
That's right. In a life rich with murdering people for little-to-no reason, Jackson's only regret was that he didn't kill quite enough people. People like Calhoun who, it should be noted, was Jackson's vice president. |
Former Democratic Senator and Secretary of the Treasurey Albert Gallatin feared a Jackson presidency because of his "habitual disregard of laws and constitutional provisions." Or in other words, the man was a loose canon--17th Century Washigton's answer to Martin Riggs. Sure, he probably didn't have an irate black lieutenant to answer to, or a weary partner who was too old for this shit, but he most certainly had a death wish.
im pretty sure this story is actually old. go to http://stuffididlastnight.com for full details
I'd like to see a TDR vs. Rasputin vs. Jackson tri duel beat around match.
Really? Roosevelt is number one? He owned guinea pigs for god's sake. Maybe they he trained them to be murderous...
Paula Abdul's crazy stalker on AMerican Idol!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=70122a94f95b80991001
I've never laughed harder at a Cracked article than I did at this one. Roosevelt was friggin' awesome. I'm seriously considering naming my first son (or daughter, whatever) Theodore.
Jackson is still honored like Robert E. Lee down here in Louisiana. Explains a lot about us, huh? Teddy is still the Mac Daddy Bad ass... Great column! Great column!
Haha, though that would be spectacular to see I have to admit on the night Obama won I had the worst feeling when he went to make his victory speech. If anything it wouldn't surprise me if it happened at some point in the next 4 years.
wow, everyone is afraid of obama being assasinated. Now I expect him to beat the freakin assasin to death. That would win him reelection
Best boobs clips ever! Naked News! Russell Brand dissing old men about their slutty granddaughters! Who's Nailin Paylin clips! ALL FREE!
http://www.tokillfor.com/view_video.php?viewkey=bfa4055a7d13cd430dde&page=3&viewtype=&category=mr
Another display of TR badassery:
The night after taking san juan hill,it was reported that TR taunted the Spanish sharpshooters by walking into range and then marching back and forth while they were shooting at him. True or false, all I know is that I saw it on the history channel documentary "Theodore Roosevelt, an American lion."
Also, when he was shot, the bullet passed through his speech AND his steel plated glasses case, and then lodged itself in the wall of his lung.
Also, I agree that Jackson should have been higher on the list, that man was insane. Did you know that many Indian casinos do not accept or use twenty dollar bills because Jackson's likeness is on it. Oh and in the battle of New Orleans, Jackson fought alongside the same Indians he would later march to death. Before he started killing them, the Indians loved him.
Not to be rude Jay, but TR is apparently a CHARACTER in Phantom of the Opera to, because the book was published beginning, in part, in 1908. So I highly doubt that he did that. But bike patrolling at midnight? Probably. Also, dark, what was that think called? I'd like to see it!
Ashtar -- a lot of times, he'd dress up as the phantom of the opera while he was on patrol. Not only would be completely f**k your s**t up, but he'd be classical about it, too.
Very well done.
Another bad ass thing Roosevelt did while he was in the police in New York was he patrolled the streets in the middle of the middle of the night on a bicycle. I actually saw a thing on the psychology of batman before "The Dark Knight" came out and they said they wanted to think of Batman as having the same type of mentality a Theodore Roosevelt, and I don't mean gay batman like George Cloony, but Christian Bale super bad ass batman. Now that should show how much of a bad ass he is.
Teddy took a sniper shot to the chest and kept on going with his 90 minute speech?
That is the most f*****g awesome thing I ever heard... If Obama or McCain did that they'd get my vote easily, hands down, no contest
Who wants to shoot Obama or McCain for me?
No maedene, Chuck Norris is the Teddy Rosevelt of martial artists.
Actually, Dickinson got into a duel with Jackson by calling a female family friend of Jackson's a former prostitute. After being shot then killing his opponent, Jackson was quoted to say something along the lines of "God himself couldn't have stopped me from killing that bastard!"
Where the f**k is Truman at? Come on people.. atomic f*****g nuclear kill everygoddamn person alive s**t.
one of the funniest articals on the site
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Sylocat
King George III also once ordered the entire palace guard at his place into the marshes south of the castle to fight off the giant pink rabbits that he said were after him.